How To Change Your Life: Step 5

Step 5 - Enjoy the change. If you don’t do this, you might as well give it up. If the daily action feels tedious and chore-like, then you're doing it wrong. You've got to find a way to enjoy the change, or you won’t stick to it and make it a permanent habit. Habits can't be changed changed overnight - remember, it takes 30 days to 3 months to establish a new habit. Check out this TED talk to hear more.

It can be quite a process to change the way you have done things your entire life. Don’t give up and don’t get down on yourself if you aren’t always able to follow through. Consider each relapse a chance to learn what to do more effectively next time. Trust that change will happen when you really want it to.  You may doubt yourself when it comes to following to your heart, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The sooner you embrace an attitude of curiosity, the sooner you will start trusting yourself. So what if you make mistakes or relapse? Who cares?

Make a commitment to yourself and really find that motivation to make change a priority. Stick with it, and keep working to recondition behaviors. Notice what’s working and what’s not working. When it is not working, change your approach. Keep changing until you finally achieve what you are committed to.

What daily change will you make today?

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock

How To Change Your Life: Step 4

Step 4 - Have consequences.  One of the best motivators for following through on your new daily habits is to have consequences.  These need to be determined by you, and be something significant enough to be a real motivator.  Maybe it's giving up something you really love (a series episode or a favorite food), donating to a cause you hate (opposing political candidate), or creating some sort of humiliation (singing karaoke to a crowd or dressing like a freak for a day).  Think of it as a type of "grounding" you had when you were a kid.  Remember, those tactics worked!
  The consequences can also be positive — a big reward each week if you don’t miss a day. Make the consequences bigger if you miss two straight days, and huge if you miss three.

"Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious." - George Bernard Shaw

Effective consequences need to be proactively built into the contract, and it's best to put them in writing. Post them. Review them and give general reminders when you sense that a little prevention could be valuable. 

Having consequences is also a great strategy in wise decision making. Remember that every single decision you have ever made, or will ever make, has consequences. Once you learn to evaluate your decisions based on consequences, all the other considerations fall neatly into place. All you need to do is think before you decide. Regardless of your past decision making abilities, you can quickly become a wise decision maker. This simple practice will help you avoid untold pain and regret.

What daily change will you make today?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."  - P. J. O'Rourke

How To Change Your Life: Step 3

"And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been."   - Rainer Maria Rilke

Step 3 - Be accountable. How you do it don’t matter - you can post to Facebook or Twitter, email someone, mark it on a calendar, report in person - just make sure you’re accountable each and every day, not each month. If you get public with it, and know eyes are on you, you'll be more likely to stick with the change.  Having another person out there that is expecting you to be updating them on your success can make all the difference in how you plan to tackle those goals.

When we're accountable to someone else for doing what we've said we would do, we get stuff done.  When we tell our boss we are going to get that proposal done by the end of the week, we do it.  When we tell a client that we’ll write that report, we deliver.  When we promise our kids we’ll throw them a birthday party, we keep our word. However, when we tell ourselves – and no one else – that we’ll ask for that raise, quit smoking, or start exercising, we are less likely to do it. It can be as simple as asking a friend, a colleague, a spouse to help you.  Make sure you're specific in telling them - what you've committed to and what you'd like them to do if you don't follow through.

Accountability cultivates integrity and responsibility. It makes you face the truth and helps you to make the necessary changes in your life, and helps to make those changes more sustainable.

Another great way to make yourself accountable is to team up with someone with similar goals. Mutual accountability is extraordinarily effective, as demonstrated by groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous. Another method is to use a website like StickK which helps you share your goals.  You can also put money on the line and designate the recipient of the money if you don't achieve your goal - it could be a friend, a charity you like, or even more motivating, a charity you hate.

What daily change will you make today?

"If I could give one tip for people - it's not an exercise or nutrition regimen. It's to walk your talk and believe in yourself, because at the end of the day, the dumbbell and diet don't get you in shape. It's your accountability to your word."   - Brett Hoebel