Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tips to Change #1: Start Small and Be Specific

Over 90% of New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned within just 3 weeks.  Studies show that it takes anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months to establish a habit. So what do you do?  

The fact is that many of us spend more time planning a vacation than we do our life. It's impossible to change our habits and make real, lasting change when we put so little effort into it.  In many cases we're trying to break habits that have developed over a long period of time. Replacing old habits with new habits that will eventually become ingrained takes both time and consistent effort.  Often, we give up too soon before the new habit becomes embedded.  You may even be in denial that there is a problem, or a need to change.

If you're skeptical that goal setting has little to do with what happens in your life, then try this simple test. Write a list of all the major events that have happened in your life, this year and last year. Then ask yourself, “How much control did I have over those events?” In most cases, you'll have to admit that you held the major influence of what transpired.
 
Start Small and Be Specific.  New habits require determination, and the setting of specific, attainable goals.  After you’ve identified realistic short and long-term goals, break them down into small, manageable steps that are specifically defined and can be measured.   Generalization doesn't work.  Your goal shouldn't be "I'll do more/less/none of that in 2013", or even "I'll do X one day a week."  Be specific about the date, length of time, whatever.  The more specific you are, the more likely you'll be to make it a routine.

Write them down.  Written goals carry more mental weight than the fleeting goals set only in our minds. Remember you are writing goals down not only for reinforcement, but also to add to them, modify them, and to delete them as you make progress and achieve success in completing them.  

Prioritize the List.  All of us have a “wish list” of things we would like to accomplish. Among them are those things that are really important to us. If you don’t separate out those things that are most important, and usually the hardest, then they often fall by the wayside. Then determine how many hours per week or month you have to work on each of your goals.

Put yourself under pressure.  With a very short list, items tend to get stretched out to fill up the time available. If the list is longer, it provides healthy pressure. On the other hand, don’t set the number of goals so unrealistically high that you set yourself up to fail by feeling that you never accomplish anything.
 
Schedule your goals.  Your life goals will not be a priority unless you put them in your daily planner. Record them in your handheld, laptop, desktop, or whatever best suits your style.  But put it somewhere where it's right in front of you as a constant reminder.

To improve your success, focus on one goal or change at a time. As new, healthy behaviors become a habit, try to add another goal that works toward the overall change you’re striving for.  Be specific about when you’ll start this new strategy and how often you'll do it. Then routinely reevaluate to make sure they are still moving you towards your desired change. Own it. Live like you have already achieved it. 

Change is hard, but it's not impossible.  It is within your power, and your reach.
"Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are."  - Bryant H. McGill 

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