All relationships end - some with separation, some with divorce, some with death. This means that in entering a relationship we implicitly accept that the other will leave us, or that we will leave them. Grief is a normal and healthy part of this ending. At the end of a relationship and afterward, we remember the grief we felt during the relationship and not only that we're feeling at the end. So ironically, the worse a relationship was, the more we will grieve. Often too, we're grieving for more than this ending, but the many others that are stacked inside us waiting for their chance to be cried out.
Grief hurts, but don't avoid it by partying or jumping right into another relationship. Grief gives us impetus for growth and helps to ensure that we won't make the same mistakes twice. Therapy is crucial during this time - it can assist us in addressing, processing, and resolving issues. Since we're never mourning only the current issue, therapy will also help us work on buried issues from the past. If you've been left, it's normal to have doubts about your will to live and your lovability, or even to want revenge. And it's normal to talk to anyone who will listen.
Grief can't be willed away. Don't attempt to let it go, but rather let it happen. Allow it - yourself - to take all the time needed, regardless of friends who tell you to "get over it." The scars left by brief can be ugly for years or can heal reasonably well. The outcome depends on how well we work through the process.
It can be incredibly helpful to write letters. These letters should never be sent, but are therapeutic through the process. This is especially sage advice if you have the nagging need to tell your partner "one last thing" or give them "one bit of advice" which is often just a way to manipulate them to whatever response you desire.
Grief hurts, but don't avoid it by partying or jumping right into another relationship. Grief gives us impetus for growth and helps to ensure that we won't make the same mistakes twice. Therapy is crucial during this time - it can assist us in addressing, processing, and resolving issues. Since we're never mourning only the current issue, therapy will also help us work on buried issues from the past. If you've been left, it's normal to have doubts about your will to live and your lovability, or even to want revenge. And it's normal to talk to anyone who will listen.
Grief can't be willed away. Don't attempt to let it go, but rather let it happen. Allow it - yourself - to take all the time needed, regardless of friends who tell you to "get over it." The scars left by brief can be ugly for years or can heal reasonably well. The outcome depends on how well we work through the process.
It can be incredibly helpful to write letters. These letters should never be sent, but are therapeutic through the process. This is especially sage advice if you have the nagging need to tell your partner "one last thing" or give them "one bit of advice" which is often just a way to manipulate them to whatever response you desire.
"We become whole through relationships and through letting go of relationships." - Sigmund Freud
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